Forgiveness: something that is widely misunderstood in my experience. Also one of the most powerful tools for self liberation, emotional freedom, and personal growth.
One of, if not the most common misconception about forgiveness, is that it condones the actions of someone else…it makes what someone else “did to you” OK. What if I told you that this is simply NOT TRUE? Now I know what most of you are thinking. You’re thinking “OMG, no way could I forgive (whomever) for doing that to me, for being that way, for treating me the way they did. It wasn’t OK and I will NEVER forgive them!”
Let’s look at that. Let’s say you’re holding on to something similar to the above. When you feel those feelings, think those thoughts of never being able to forgive – how do you feel? Probably not very good. So what’s happening here? We are holding onto something, it’s manifesting a feeling in our body, and it’s staying there. That un-forgiveness sits in your mind, body and soul and does only one thing – it causes negativity; produces negative feelings, negative energy and long term issues at the end of the day. And guess what? It’s YOU that’s allowing it to happen. Shocking, right? Read on…
The truth about forgiveness is this: Forgiveness never condones what someone did. It does not make something OK that isn’t OK. The purpose of forgiveness is personal. When you forgive, you let go of the hold that the energy and negativity of the person/situation has on you. You allow yourself to be free from what happened. You’re literally saying, “I will not allow you to run around rent free in my head with your dirty feet.” Because the truth of the matter, is that not forgiving and releasing really only hurts you – physically, mentally, emotionally. Why allow that? Why let someone that did you wrong run around in your head, rent free, with their dirty feet, taking up space? Why allow someone to have that kind of power over you? Why allow that person to cause you so much emotional grief that you have to hold on to what they did and never let go? You have the power to let go!
Forgiveness is personal. You do not have to tell someone that you forgive them. Forgiveness is about a new understanding. It’s about breaking free from the hold that a person/situation has on you, reclaiming your power, and allowing yourself to be and feel liberated from the restraints of the past. Forgiveness is also about forgiving yourself. This is very important!! In the same way that someone on the outside can cause us grief, we can also do it to ourselves. We all do it! Some of the most powerful sessions I have had with clients have involved forgiveness of the self.
To learn to forgive can be a bit of a process. Sometimes we have to work through what happened; process the past, with the mind of today, gain perspective. All totally possible; you just have to be ready to do it. And not everyone is ready at the same time. And that’s OK. Sometimes people think they aren’t ready, but they really just want to release what’s binding them, so they go through a process to become ready.
There is no right and wrong – it’s whatever feels best for you. There are ways to work through things and bring yourself to the point of being ready, because you are tired of the hold that another person/situation has on you. You’re ready to break free from it. The power is all within you and your mind - making a conscious decision to change your mind and do things differently. If you need assistance with it - be strong, reach out, and ask for it. I promise you it will be one of the most freeing experiences of your life!
Light and Love to all,
A.M.